I am a criminal

A few weeks ago I got a ticket for jaywalking. Yes, evidently the Sinclair Community College Gestapo has nothing better to do. Granted, they’re probably pissed off with their life: They ride around on bicycles, have about 3 blocks they can ‘patrol’, never get to use their guns, never get into high-speed chases, couldn’t make it as a real cop, and spend all day having to watch people that are doing something useful with their lives. They should just put on bright orange vests and hold up a stop-sign for all the helpless adults crossing the street. The night I got one, they must have handed out 30 of them. At $70 each, that’s a healthy revenue. Oh, but that’s right, “It’s not about revenue” Bullshit. If it’s about ‘protecting the people’ and ‘teaching them a lesson’ then try handing out a few warnings here and there. Especially the first week of classes. Or better yet, if you’re standing right there, instead of watching them cross then handing out a ticket, how about saying something before someone ends up a super-dangerous situation…. like crossing a deserted street. Or would that just stamp the ‘Glorified Crossing Guard’ title on a little too much?

To top it all off, I don’t even think I was jaywalking.

I crossed the street using the crosswalk. I’ve worked downtown for 8 years, so I know that cars don’t pay much attention to the crosswalk so I’m usually looking down the street for traffic. There was none. So I can’t with 100% certainty that the light was in my favor when I actually stepped into the crosswalk, but it was when I was about 10 feet from it. It might have changed while I was crossing, but I assume that it works like traffic lights do for cars – as long as you’re in the intersection before the light turns red, you’re fine.

Who knows… the cop was a prick too. There were dozens of people walking all over the place, he probably saw me as he was writing someone else a ticket. I don’t even know where he was, but he had another officer stop me and ask me to wait for him – I guess he has a quota or a rep to create, she didn’t. I just assumed it was a warning and ‘don’t do that again’ thing. When he pulled up a few minutes later on his tricked-out Schwinn, he just started writing a ticket. At least you’re moving up Mike – they probably don’t let you carry a gun at your job as library security guard. (No really, that’s his previous or other job, library security guard) You’ve already got the makings of a great OSP officer.

I did a little research and found out that the handful of people (out of the billion jaywalking cases) that knew enough to plead ‘no contest’ got off with a $25 fine. I really wanted to be a prick right back and make him have to show up for court, but he’s one of those hardons that probably enjoys that crap. I’ll pay $25 to save myself the trip. That, and I didn’t want anyone to steal a book while he was in court.

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